be the change you want to see!

In the spirit of turning the page of new calendar year, where good intentions seem to find purchase in short-lived resolutions, I thought I’d share a “renewal” practice that I started with one of my favorite people in the world – my Aunt Jeannie:

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

A little background on my Aunt Jeannie: as one of my mom’s seven sisters and brothers, I established a profound connection with her very early on in my life. Perhaps it was due to her natural daring spirit – for she was always sharing stories of surfing, mountain climbing, parachuting, scuba diving, and traveling the world, excited to explore one adventure after the next. Or it could have been her genuine altruistic nature, where she endeavored to consistently “give back” to a society that had blessed her with such an exciting, fulfilling, and love for life – be it in her profession of teaching children, volunteering at shelters, feeding the less fortunate, coordinating care package deliveries, or actively participating in social justice causes. She was my ultimate role model; one who purposely didn’t stand in front of a cause as its loudest cheerleader, but rather as the humble and diligent servant, quietly attempting to move mountains and encourage others to do the same by her inspiring example.

As far back as I can remember, we would always send each other short but deeply reflective and optimistic birthday wishes. It was our chance to re-connect, and in our own simple way, share thoughts on the state of the world and how we might influence it. It was sometime during the early 90’s that I heard some pundit remark that humans are the only creatures in this world who cut down trees to make paper and then use the paper to write “We must save the trees…” Knowing that my Aunt Jeannie was passionate about saving the world, I thought of a fun and easy way to not only keep track of our musings, but also do a very small part in actively participating in the “Save the Trees” movement. Instead of buying and sending a new birthday card every year, I found a few funny ideas online and printed a goofy card on my ‘90’s-era dot matrix printer. My resolution was to re-use this card for as long as possible.

As you can see in the attached pictures, starting in 1993 we initially just logged the date the card was sent and added a picture and an additional piece of paper with our birthday wishes, some life highlights from the last time we spoke, and most importantly, some thoughts on the current state of the world. This process was fun and provided a history of where this recyclable card had made its interesting journey. Unfortunately, although we did maintain the card, we didn’t think to save the additional pieces of paper. This changed on that fateful day on September 11th, 2001 where the events in New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington DC, saw our messaging transition directly onto the card. This process then continued, watching the message inputs growing to describe those significant personal milestones and particular adventures over the past year.

I get a kick out of it every year, when I get to re-read through our varied stories, thoughts, and reflections. The pictures in the attachment don’t do the card its full justice. It’s like reading through a time-capsule of our personal history and how we reacted to the major events impacting our lives. It covers major moves, military deployments, hospitalizations, births, deaths, election cycles, and social movements. You name it, we probably covered it. And embarrassingly, I certainly got the better end of the deal when it came to storing and sending the card. As a late September birthday, upon reception I only had to hold onto the card for a couple of weeks before adding my new entry and shipping it back to my Aunt Jeannie for her mid-October celebration. It was then her responsibility to safeguard it for another 11 months before sending it back. :)

My message this week, as we optimistically look to the challenges and opportunities that might be realized in 2021, is that resolutions sometimes fail because we aim our initial sights too high. It’s not a problem of aspiration, because we certainly don’t want to stop reaching for the stars, especially when it comes to change that we believe in. Rather, it’s a problem of sustainability. We’ve all been in challenging positions that required us to put our normal life on hold while we focused 100% of our attention on a particular task. And while we may have been successful at maintaining that pace (or change) for a while, at some point we come to the realization that that level of effort is not sustainable over time. Hopefully, as you’re pondering the many possible New Year’s resolutions you can develop to change yourself (or the world), you consider the feasibility of your ability to maintain that transformation over time.

I’m sure there are better New Year’s resolutions out there – one’s that take a more active interest in either individual growth or collective action. And I’m certainly not claiming that re-purposing a birthday card is having a significant impact on saving the rainforest, but I am proud to say that this is one “change” that we have been able to faithfully keep for nearly 30 years now. Similar to our lives, our renewable card is starting to show the effect of time – a few more wrinkles and water marks here and there, but it’s still going strong. And in the spirit of New Year resolutions and this week’s Inspirational quote, I think Mahatma Gandhi would agree that you should never underestimate the power of your example – and its ability to influence others. Just remember that your example should reflect something that you can consistently do (and hopefully improve upon) over the long term. Changing the world often happens first, by changing yourself. Where are you at in your own transformation?