This week's Inspirational quote and interpretation comes from unexpected a gut-punch I received this weekend when hearing that Alex Trebek finally lost his valiant battle with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer:
“We all die. The goal is not to live forever. The goal is to create something that will.” – Chuck Palahniuk
I felt like I grew up with Alex Trebek. Jeopardy was a Weis-household staple that I continued through college and my adult years. Some of my fondest moments included a fraternity habit of shouting “Bet it all!” every time a Double Jeopardy was uncovered on the board, or when a family member predicted our favorite musical “Les Miserable” as a Final Jeopardy answer, before the clue was even shared! Through it all, I came to respect Alex Trebek as a kind, thoughtful, and intellectual role model who always treated the contestants as equals and genuinely cared about everyone’s experience.
When I was reading some of the many tributes that immediately poured in from friends, fellow celebrities, and even world leaders, I came across an interview that was recently conducted asking him how he wanted to be remembered. After some thoughtful reflection, Alex answered that he wanted to be best remembered as a “good and loving husband and father” and a “decent man who did his best to help people perform at their best.”
Trebek’s answer reminded me of some advice I had received from a personal mentor who helped me make one of the most monumental choices in my life. Without boring you with the context and details surrounding that significant decision point, suffice it to say that I was at a crossroads of careers with two incredibly attractive paths: one of which would lead to what I considered to be the ultimate military operational assignment; while the other led to a more predictable (and safer) academic pursuit, yet with an equally important role in the development of others. I was torn between these two decisions. Lists of pros vs cons followed with no clear winner, until my mentor simply asked me: “What do you want your legacy to be?”
That was a difficult question to answer, especially considering that both paths would allow for me to leave a lasting, and hopefully developmental impact on others. In the end, I knew that while being remembered as a respected combat leader was definitely appealing, I acknowledged that my previous 18 years in the Army, with its numerous training events, military moves every 2-3 years, and worldwide deployments, had forced me to miss numerous life events with my family – birthdays and anniversaries, soccer goals and first dances, holidays and recitals - the list significant “missed” life events goes on and on... I knew that my family didn’t hold those absences against me, but when faced with that major career cross-road decision, my epiphany was incredibly similar to Alex Trebek’s. It was more important to me to be remembered as a loving son, husband, father, and friend; someone who was authentically present and in a more consistent (and available) position to help shape, comfort, advise, hug, laugh, kiss, dance, and love those who are closest to me.
The jury is still out on whether or not I have been as successful as I had hoped. And while I may still sometimes wonder “what would have happened if…,” I certainly don’t regret that monumental decision nearly ten years ago. I’d like to think that Alex didn’t regret his either. So here’s to you Mr. Trebek! Rest in peace my friend and may we all be so lucky to achieve the legacy you have.
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